Positive ways to resolve conflict

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Disagreements are bound to come up at home, at work, online or in your social circles. Conflict is normal and expected, and it’s how you handle conflict that really matters. When conflict is mismanaged, it can harm your relationships. Here are some healthy ways to address conflict.

Be calm. In the heat of the moment, you may react to a situation before thinking it through. Pause to take some deep breaths and calm yourself before jumping into an argument.

Don’t blame or accuse. Discuss the problem rationally. Use “I” rather than “you” statements when talking about the problem to avoid placing blame.

Listen carefully. Pay attention while others express their feelings and concerns. Show that you’re listening by rephrasing and repeating what you’ve heard.

Show empathy. Acknowledge and validate what the other person is saying. Connect statements with “and” rather than “but,” which can negate everything positive you said before it.

Explore underlying issues. Sometimes a conflict may be fueled by issues beneath the surface. Getting to the root of the problem is essential to moving forward with conflict resolution.

Find common ground. Focusing on points of agreement rather than disagreement can help you get closer to a resolution. This can help open the door to find ways to work together going forward.

Focus on solutions. Conflict resolution isn’t about who’s right or wrong. The goal is to reach a reasonable solution or compromise that works for everyone.

Agree to disagree. Accept that perspectives are different. Respond in a way that shows you understand the other person’s perspective.

Leave the past behind. Do your best to forgive and forget. Holding a grudge can cause additional tension and prolong the conflict.